I am at a point in my life where I just worry about things. Usually, the things I fret over are out of my control but that doesn't hinder me. I wish I could just relax and take it easy, but I let myself get stressed out and I act accordingly.
For one thing, I have a habit of watching the stock market. Now, if it wasn't for the money I had invested into mutual funds over the last half of my working career, I probably wouldn't care. Even though I am now retired and not yet relying on income from my portfolio to live on, I worry about how my wife will fare when I am not around.
These days, the stock market is so vulnerable to world events that no matter how well our own economy seems to be doing, it is not enough to determine the direction it might take. I recognize that the world has gotten a lot smaller, and world events have an impact on our economy. Still, I would like to believe that what we do in America drives the world rather than the other way around.
Another thing that worries me is my own family. I don't want to be the Mafia Don even though I don't actually believe they see me as that. I am proud of each of them for what they have accomplished. Success is measured in so many ways that I simply want to know that they are happy. If they are happy, then I feel as though my work is done. I worry about their happiness every day.
The next thing are my own accomplishments.I often dream about the things I have been involved with over my life and wonder if I am satisfied with my actions. There are many things that I wish I had accomplished, but didn't. At the same time there are things I did that I wish I had done differently. I suppose everyone has those thoughts.
The last thing is religion. Let me start off by saying that I do believe in a Creator. I could not imagine how this complex world we live in got here by chance. And yet, why is this Creator so mysterious? I tend to believe that the Christian faith is most likely the truth, but I can't convince myself that any particular religion can offer the ONLY truth. When I see the conflicts between the various sects and various religions, I wonder how ONE GOD can allow such confusion. So I have come to the conclusion that HE or SHE doesn't take sides.
Since there are only GOOD or EVIL choices, each individual has the capacity to sense what is right to do and make a decision whether to do it or not. As for any afterlife, I can't think about that because I can't handle the stress. I will leave it to our Creator.
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